Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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