she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
