It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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