Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
