There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
