Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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