Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
