Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
