i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This baby is an asshole
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
