ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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