I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
