I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
