Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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