i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
