just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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