ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
