first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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