and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
last night I used snow as a chaser
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
