Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
