I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
handjob tips. give me some.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
