Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Can I color on your dick again?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
