i'm signing you up for texting rehab
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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