READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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