I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
