I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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