i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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