So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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