thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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