...so i touched it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I deserve this hangover.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
