Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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