and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
