1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
