Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
