Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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