After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't think brook has ever known best
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
