I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
