you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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