I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
