Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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(301): View more from Maryland

soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance

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(678): View more from Georgia

My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.

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