i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
