Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
