Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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