People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
