she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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