And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
