Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
