Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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