But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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