just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
