i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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